Body comments, online trolls, plus sized modeling and more with Denise Mercedes

How do you handle someone commenting on your body? What if that person is a stranger on the internet? What if it's your mom? And what is the plus-sized modeling industry really like? 

Today's guest talks us through it all.

Meet Denise Mercedes, the amazing model and influencer with over 1.4m followers on Instagram, and 3.5m on TikTok. Denise is the creator of the viral #stylenotsize hashtag.

Denise opens up about self love, body image, and what advice she thinks you should know. 

For more about Denise, please check out instagram.com/denisemmercedes. 

PS - Guys I'm so sorry about my wonky mic. It worked fine in the test, and it was fine when I lived in another country, but today it decided to make me sound like Minnie Mouse. Please be kind and I'll get it fixed asap. 

Transcript

00:00.00
danaemercer
Here we go hi guys welcome back to talking out loud Today. We're joined by Denise Mercedes she's a plus-size model fashion Blogger and influencer. Started the viral hashtag #stylenotsize Denise has over 1.5 million followers community members on Instagram and then over 3 million on tiktok.  Denise, thank you so much for joining today.

00:32.40
Denise
Of course I'm super excited to be here.

00:35.95
danaemercer
So I have been following you for ages I think I'm 1 of those that saw your your viral videos with your friend where you were trying on different outfits and I I fell in love with your platform and kind of the confidence you radiate and also just your incredible sense of fashion. So why not.

00:44.15
Denise
Um, yes.

00:54.77
danaemercer
You start by talking the listeners through your journey how you start on Instagram tell us all.

00:59.90
Denise
Sure First of all, thank you for having me and I love your content as well. You're very very inspiring and I love I love following creators who are very inspiring and in people who are very relatable and I feel that.

01:06.69
danaemercer
Something. Thank you.

01:19.52
Denise
You know you are definitely 1 of the creators that I relate to so I just love your content and um, and yeah you know creators like you are um, the ones who inspire me to continue to be honest I um, so when I had first. Started on social media I actually started first as a model I was um I was work I was modeling sort of part time and then eventually I was um I was managed by. By a modeling agency and so I would say that it really wasn't the best because every time I would go and get sent to castings I would never really get to any jobs because of my height so it was sort of a. Problem and I then realized that modeling wasn't for me so I just kind of continued to create on social media I like posting my outfits because I realized that a lot of people were like you know I love the way you dress and I think that you know you give us. Be plus-sized community. You know an idea of how to dress our bodies and feel confident and so that made me really happy and I just felt like this is something I should continue and I love I love fashion. You know I love dressing my body and showcasing how my body could look good. Wearing anything that I want as long as you know I wear with confidence so as I just continue doing that I just you know I I grew on on Instagram and and then I decided to go on tiktok and kind of share the same type of love that I have. Fashion and dressing up my body and you know and feeling comfortable and I was able to grow on tiktok and then my best friend and I came out withst thou not size being that she is a different body type for me and I'm like listen you know this is a. Think this is a great way to show people that you know you can dress. However, you want you don't have to be a specific size. You know it's all what we see on the media and I just thought that it would be a great idea to kind of showcase like you know, look at me and her and you know we're both different but we look so good because we're wearing it with confidence. So. I think people reacted so well to that they loved it and yeah, that's how stone outsides grew.

03:56.42
danaemercer
It's it really is incredible on my incredible journey I would love to pull you back to your time as a model and I I mean I think I read I read somewhere that you wanted to maybe when you're younger, you wanted to be a plus size model. But you weren't. I Think the the restrictions around plus size modeling is quite tough as well and it didn't quite work and then as as life changed that change and so you got into the industry but I would love to know about your journey as a model and also if you don't mind just talking a bit about how you felt about your body. During those times during your time as a model.

04:32.48
Denise
Of course so during the time as a model I felt I did you know develop a lot of insecurities around that time especially because of my height but also you know even before that even before I. Tried to get into the plus size world I actually was not considered plus size so I was sort of like an inbetween where I was like a size 8 and you know and I and I wasn't getting accepted to any um I think the. Starting plus size was like around a size 10 or a size 12 So It wasn't working hard for me and then eventually with time you know I had gained some weight and then that was when I was like oh let me try this out again. But then you know I did and Although. I Feel that a modeling agency ended up representing representing me because I had a large following on social media and you know even like that you know it was like okay you know, but you're you're still short. So You know.

05:43.89
danaemercer
Here.

05:46.55
Denise
it it was it was a tough it was a tough time because you know I would have my agent who would tell me okay, well you know you're a size 14 but maybe you should go down to a size 12 maybe more brands will book you and you know it was just always something about me and so. Course I ended up developing you know insecurities where I'm like okay I need to do something about this I need to do something about that I remember I tried to go in for a fit model which is a type of model that you you model for brands. But. Based off your body type so that they make clothing. Um on you and I remember I had went to to see the directive for that and she told me your thighs are too big. You need to lower. You need to to lose this part of your thighs in order for you to. To be able to fit in such and such and so of course you know with all of that I just I I developed insecurities I developed you know like feelings of wanting to change my body and and that's kind of when I realized that that world just was not for me. You know I wanted to. Do something where I just felt like I could be my own person and and just you know showcase like this is me this is how I am and I love it. So I think that was why that transition from modeling to becoming a content creator a full-time content creator. Social media was such a big change because it was a way of me kind of just rather than having someone else managing me I had myself to manage me and I can just say like oh I look good and this outfit looks good on me and then I had you know, ah the the followers in the community that I built. On social media tell me like wow you're so inspiring and you're encouraging me you know because of you I wore a bikini for the first time and I think that that was what what was like the best feeling it's the fact that you're able to empower and encourage other women to feel like wow I can actually wear that. I'm gonna wear that I'm gonna try it and then they do it and then they'll send me a photo. Oh my god that's the best feeling when they send me people on dm look you inspired me to wear this outfit I'm like oh my gosh you look amazing. You know it's it's it's it's very rewarding.

08:04.55
danaemercer
It is.

08:15.80
danaemercer
It really really is like I I feel like we maybe have the best job in the world. Well 1 of the best jobs in the world and I I think it's such a blessing to get messages like those and it it really does. It feels wonderful. It's.

08:20.53
Denise
Um, yeah for sure for sure.

08:32.51
danaemercer
It's so interesting hearing you talk about your time in the kind of plus-size modeling space because I guess in my brain I would think oh well you are a stunning You are a stunning woman and I look at you and I'm like yes I I want those clothes. Yes I want that style and to hear that. Even in in a space that is meant to be more Inclusive. You were still getting critiques on your body that just that just horrifies me.

08:57.72
Denise
Oh for sure for sure you know this was back in 2 sixteen and I just feel that around that time brands were not as inclusive as they are right now and don't get me wrong I feel like there's still space. For more inclusivity. But there's been such an improvement since 2016 when I was modeling. It was actually pretty bad.

09:22.84
danaemercer
How did you not let kind of those those horrible comments get to you or or did they and and how did you heal from that.

09:30.95
Denise
Oh no, they did get to me. They got to me badly actually to the point where it was messing with my mental health. Really bad. You know there were times where I just wanted to quit like I was just you know I remember coming home crying and just feeling like you know like what am I doing. Like you know this is obviously just not for me like I don't know what to do There were those times they felt awful I used to feel anxious and I used to feel like I was in this like ah in this state You know like a clot like a dark Cloud all over me, you know where I was just always sad. And that's you know that that wasn't the feeling that I wanted I'm like okay this is obviously not it. You know like this is if if if I feel this way then obviously this is not the job or the industry for me and I knew like okay I need to get out of it and that's what I did.

10:25.38
danaemercer
How did you? How did you make that decision because I I get questions a lot from people who are like you know I've spent my entire life working up to this career and I'm in this career and I hate it. So it's It's so hard to step away from something that. Maybe we've worked for for a long time or it seems glamorous. How did you make that decision to exit was there a moment.

10:48.51
Denise
Yes, um, there was definitely a moment you know I remember there it being a time where so I wasn't getting any jobs but I was still working with photographers trying to update my portfolio my book and. My agency contacted me and they're like hey you know it's been 2 years into the contract we have another year to go you know we're gonna give you this chance to you know, either want to continue with us or or not and I decided to. Say no I'm like no I don't I don't um I don't want to continue you know and I was thinking to myself at the time I was like maybe I'll go with another agency or you know, um, whatever the case is but I just remember saying no I don't I don't want to continue with the contract so around that time I guess where I was. Like looking for another agency I was on social media at the same time and then you know eventually I stopped I stopped looking for another agency and then I just you know, continued creating on social media. It was weird how it happened I feel like it was kind of meant to be. You know I was meant to not. Be in that industry and so it was like I was given the opportunity like to either continue or not and I decided to just like no obviously that's not working and then I was like maybe I'll go somewhere else but then I never even continued looking for that somewhere else and just stood where I was and then continued. Creating content on the social media and here look where I am I mean I feel like everything happens for a reason.

12:26.95
danaemercer
Ah, yeah, it it really does and it's so interesting to hear you talk about this I mean I'm someone I had worked for for my whole life really to get my dream job and I I had my dream job for about a year and like you were saying that there was this dark cloud over you.

12:44.84
Denise
Yeah, but.

12:46.79
danaemercer
That's how I that's how I felt it was awful and I would come home crying and I was so anxious and I was like something's not something's not right here. Something isn't isn't good and and I made the decision to resign and it was terrifying and I it was it was awful but I like you I just sort of.

13:00.66
Denise
No, it is.

13:06.32
danaemercer
Started to talk on social media and and really talk like the real me and and things just had a life of their own and I have I have no regrets I have no regrets I think life is is too short to live in that dark Cloud now.

13:10.23
Denise
Right.

13:21.74
Denise
I agree. Well I totally agree. It's it's interesting because 1 of my best friends. She's kind of in the situation of where we were before kind of being in this dark cloud and not knowing what to do and you know and and she's. Afraid to to quit her job. She's afraid to resign because she doesn't know what's going to happen next you know I told her I'm like I understand but you know you just never know what if you're meant to not be there. You know you'll never know so I was like just just try it out.

13:52.52
danaemercer
Yeah.

13:58.38
Denise
Resign and just see where life takes you. You know you're a beautiful woman. You're very successful. You're Smart. You know people love you. You know I'm pretty sure you're gonna you know you'll make it you know, but if this job is not making you happy and it's draining you. You know, just just just do something like. You you have to like take that step and I feel like people are so afraid to take that step but you never know where it's going to leave you to.

14:22.69
danaemercer
Absolutely absolutely and also 1 of the most powerful things that helped me when I took that leap and I felt a bit like I had just done the most foolish thing is someone told me the skills I have will never go Away. So if I took that leap and I just crashed and burn I could always go back. To that type of industry that type of job. But I would rather take that leap and and try than spend the rest of my life wondering if I could have been happier.

14:43.00
Denise
Exactly yep.

14:50.71
Denise
Exactly no for sure for sure and actually this reminds me this is so this is before modeling um, before modeling I you know I I went to school I studied psychology I actually ended up getting my degree in psychology. And I was working full time as a secretary for a law firm for 3 years and um, you know before I got my degree I just remember being in that office you know working a nine five job and it was miserable. Was absolutely miserable. Um, this is when I was about 21 before modeling and I just remembered like sitting there and thinking like is this gonna be my life like what am I gonna do know because obviously I'm not happy and um.

15:40.60
danaemercer
If this.

15:47.52
Denise
He eventually laid me off because the company wasn't um, the company was I guess going under and you know I was laid off so I was able to collect unemployment and I was like you know what? let me just take advantage and just I don't know do something go to school right.

16:05.29
danaemercer
Six.

16:07.32
Denise
And that was when I went to school and I majored in psychology I ended up graduating but around the time that I was graduating that was when I kind of um, like during my last year of of college I was that's when I was sort of getting into the social Media world. So it was just so interesting because it's like. Now you know 7 years later you know I have a degree in psychology but I do something completely different.

16:31.92
danaemercer
Well, speaking of your the social media world I would love I'd love to hear from you I know you have this wonderful platform. An incredible community and just the world's best sense of style so talk to me a bit about like when you first started. Showing your fashion showing your outfits and and yes, also showing your body your shape everything online were you nervous were you scared how did that feel.

16:57.34
Denise
No, that's that's actually the the interesting part I was not nervous at all I remember when I was taking you know because when I started I would take photos in my backyard and I would tell my boyfriend I'm like here. Um, I'm gonna put on this outfit and just take a picture of me. Okay, and he's like okay and then I would just take a picture and I'm like this is a cute outfit and then I would post it I was not I was not afraid at all I was not nervous. I was just like no for some reason I've always loved being in front of the camera I don't know why ever since I was a kid when I look at like. My childhood Photos. You just see me posing like I was always just like I loved it. I loved the camera. So what was interesting about me joining the social media world was okay I'm gonna you know I'm gonna start posting photos of my outfit right? and I would do that and people were you know everyone was like.

17:33.89
danaemercer
A the.

17:51.82
Denise
Everyone's just like oh my God I Love the way you dress and I'm like oh thank you so much I appreciate that and then that just made me want to do it more I'm like okay I need to go shopping I have to get like some cute dresses and and looks and make some looks together and post them on social media and that was just how I just kept going and going and going and then. Little by little my followers just kept kind of growing and I'm like oh if I could if I'm really good. You know in front of the camera then that's when you know I should start the modeling world and then that's when I kind of stopped uploading photos of fashion and and my body on social media and tried to continue. Into the modeling world which then failed and then that's when I came back on the social media world and continued and then that's where it led to where I am now.

18:38.49
danaemercer
Have you ever had any negative comments or how do you navigate that that side of the internet.

18:45.77
Denise
So it's it's interesting because I still do get negative comments and you know it's interesting I Remember my first negative comment. Can you believe that.

18:55.87
danaemercer
Yeah, oh I remember mine too because you you feel like ah like you're so vulnerable right? because you you don't you don't have that shell and it it hurts so much First 1 ne's awful but the first I remember my first. Yeah i.

19:01.98
Denise
Um, Ray Yeah, yeah, exactly.

19:14.78
danaemercer
Remember my first especially as I was going viral. Oh my god and it I was I was like sobbing in my bedroom for days from there were some really awful things and you don't know how to deal with it and it's the first time and like does the whole world hate me do my friends hate me am I oh it's.

19:26.52
Denise
Have.

19:32.61
danaemercer
It's really bad.

19:34.73
Denise
It's so bad and so I remember my first negative comment and I even remember the person that's how in depth I remember the person and you know and she says to me.

19:41.74
danaemercer
Here.

19:50.43
Denise
It it was it was not that she said something so so crazy, but it just I just remembered it because it was the first time that someone ever said something that to me on social media you know because before we would use our social media to connect with people and our friends and our family. But then once you start going on the other side of social media where you become you know. Like a public figure sort of sort of speak and then you're kind of open to the other world I remember this girl saying to me no stop doing this. You're not beautiful and stop promoting obesity. So when she said that to me that's um I remember thinking to myself I was like. What like I was so upset I was like wait what how could she say that to me like like I didn't understand it because it was like at the time I was just growing like I was just starting so to me it was just like how could someone who doesn't know me say that to me. And I and I remember I was tall I was actually crying and I was like but like at the time it was like you know, ah fast forward to now I mean I get negative comments all the time right? But I'm used to it. It's just like oh no, they're troublell just whatever you know and sometimes you don't you don't really still get used to it because sometimes they do tend to bother.

20:56.50
danaemercer
Yeah.

21:06.66
Denise
But sometimes there's just times where it's just like oh just whatever blocked delete. It is what it is. You know, but that first 1 I was just thinking into myself cause was like how can someone say that to me like I don't understand I didn't understand it and it did make me feel bad and I didn't really know how to handle it. And eventually with time as I continued on social media. That's when I was just kind of like oh this is a thing well I'm getting negative comments now and I'm like oh I get it. You know and it was just like I had a.

21:33.55
danaemercer
Yeah, yeah.

21:45.45
Denise
Responded to this 1 girl it and it was actually so my response to her went viral I mean it was like everybody was reposting it and I she said something like Thank God I don't have her but no, she said. Thank God We don't look like her I guess she tagged her her sister or her friend and she said yeah she said Thank God We don't look like her and I responded to her and said Yes, thank God You guys don't look.

22:07.90
danaemercer
Oh my gosh. Oh.

22:20.90
Denise
Like me because we're all supposed to be different and unique.. That's what makes us so special and I think that but when I responded that you know I had reposted it that I I screenshotted that comment was she said and how I responded of course I I blocked out her name. I were posted and I'm like look guys. You know for anyone else who wants to make any negative comments. This is my response to you. We're all different. We're all unique like we're not supposed to look like if we all look to like how weird would that be and I think everyone was just like oh my God I Just loved the way you responded and everybody just kept reposting it. And so eventually they found the person it went so viral that they found the person who made that comment and people just dragged her and I was like guys. No, That's not what I wanted it was you know that's why I I blocked off her name but people just went after her and. You know and she was just like she blocked me and you know I was just like oh God I didn't expect that but I realized you know you know what? at this point, It's just like don't even answer anyone. It's just like you're always going to get negative comments and till this day as you know where I am now Victoria's secret actually posted me.

23:34.93
danaemercer
Oh yay.

23:37.38
Denise
And yeah, they they posted me and I got all of these negative comments from these people saying you look Awful. You look disgusting lose weight like you look so unhealthy there was you know this 1 comment and there was like well now I could say that. Um. You know my wife is better looking than a Victoria secret model I guess he was basically referring to me so I'm not going to lie like negative comments. They don't It's not like they happen and then you just it. It just doesn't bother you event I think it's always gonna bother. Because we're human like it's it is what it is but I feel that the positive comments that we do get.. It's just so.. It's so much that it just overpowers those negative people like it doesn't matter so I try to focus more on the people that. Sending me those photos of the outfit that you know they were because I inspired them that is what makes it. You know that is what empowers like overpowers any of those negative comments of people telling me that I look uglier that I'm fat or disgusting like why does it matter. You know so I try to remember all of the goods.

24:52.16
danaemercer
Um, yeah, the bad. Well first off I'm so sorry that you get messages like that that disgust me and horrifies me and I'm I'm also not surprised because the internet can be. It can be a beautiful thing and it's a blessing but it can also hurt.

24:53.87
Denise
You don't and and just try to ignore yeah for sure.

25:11.79
danaemercer
Sometimes it can hurt a lot. So um, but 1 of 1 of the things that I find really powerful in what you've said is just how how you've navigated it and how you've navigated it in a way that's good for your mental health. A lot of the women in my community they get judged on their bodies. Like maybe they have a mom that says horrible things or the co-worker that's kind of you know mean nice or the boyfriend that kind of picks apart the way they look do you have any advice for those women like how they should handle comments in the real world.

25:45.68
Denise
Yes, um, so speaking about moms my mom is definitely she is let me tell you something my Mom is an amazing person. She's the best mom I could ever have and i. Appreciate her so much because she's done so much for me and she's been the best mom however, in our community, especially you know in the hispanic world. Um, you know we're we're set to have like this body type of being thin you know and. My mom used to ah she used to criticize me but not like tell me, um, hey you're fat like not not type of weight but she used to tell me watch why you're eating you know, watch what you're eating. You know you're gaining some weight you need you need to lose weight like you know and I grew up with my mom telling me that and I never knew how much it was affecting me and it's actually ah it's ah it's a hard It's a hard situation because I'm so attached to my mom I'm so close to my mom and I feel that um even to this day. Whatever my mom says is is is what I you know I'm always looking for um, her approval. And so this day she she still makes comments here and there where she's like oh you look good or you know try to maintain your body like and it's such a difficult moment because I I feel that the relationship with my mom It's such a good relationship. But then there's just that little small. You know default there and you know I try to tell my mom like listen just don't comment on my body but it's hard to do that especially because it's it's your mom. And you look up to them so much and so now my mom is you know she's very supportive, especially ever since I've been on social media and you know when she's she's always giving you know she's always complimenting me and she's always saying denise that dress that you that picture that you posted today with that dress you look absolutely stunning. And that makes me happy. But then there's times where she's like oh and needs that photo that you posted you know that dress is not that flattering so I kind of feel like I'm in this um in this part of of my life where like I kind of still listen to my mom and I'm trying to work.

28:30.24
danaemercer
P.

28:33.91
Denise
On trying not to get trying not to listen too much to what my mom says but just listening to myself and so when you when you mention that there's people out there who get criticized by their loved ones by their you know boyfriend you know.

28:50.20
danaemercer
Six.

28:53.18
Denise
Ah, partners and friends or whatever I totally get it and I'm still there. So my suggestion is to continue to surround yourself with people who love you who inspire you and you know I know it's It's hard because I'm in it.

29:11.50
danaemercer
No.

29:12.39
Denise
You know with my mom and it's it's It's very hard. You know and I'm you know I'm as I'm getting older you know I I I have this love for my mom and this relationship and it's like we have our our relationship and it's a good relationship but then there's the bad part of our relationship And. Um, and it makes me sad but I'm still working on on that part of my life and you know and and it's okay, it's okay to to to not feel good all the time and that's 1 thing that I try to. Be open with my followers about is you know, although you may see my confidence coming on you know through social media I'm not always Confident. You know there are days where I feel pretty bad where you know I'm crying my eyes out and and I don't feel happy and that's okay, you know.

30:02.75
danaemercer
And.

30:09.39
danaemercer
I didn't I think that's really I think that's really powerful though to to see someone like you who is I would say inspirational and a wonderful kind of example of of fashion and class and it's just beautiful but also the fact that you.

30:09.78
Denise
Were trying and.

30:28.87
danaemercer
You're willing to sit in what makes us human right? And that's the messy, the insecurities the struggles. The I actually don't have everything altogether all the time world I think that's that helps so many people to hear that.

30:35.77
Denise
Um, know yeah and you know I I try to be open about it. Um, sometimes it's hard. It's hard to be open about it when you know I'm posting a photo wearing this really pretty dress right? You don't know what happened.

30:45.22
danaemercer
P.

30:54.75
Denise
2 days before that right 2 days before that I was having a mental breakdown you know about body image and about how I need to change my body and I'm like thinking oh I need to lose weight my mom's right? maybe I should lose ten fifteen pounds because you know I'll look better in my photos and you know. That is so unhealthy for the mind that it it is completely insane, but it's just to showcase like we're not all perfect like we're I'm I'm happy that my photos are able to inspire you that that makes me happy right? But you don't. You know I have my own struggles that I'm still dealing with even after all these years.

31:36.65
danaemercer
And and what do you do on the days when you're having a sort of low body image day. What? what do you do? How do you find the balance again.

31:49.31
Denise
I Ask myself that all the time you know I'm like sometimes like I'm sitting on my couch and I'm I'm having this breakdown about me and like what I have to change about my body and like how I don't like my body that day. But then. The next day I'm like I'm gonna put on that gorgeous dress zoom my hair and my makeup and make a video and then I feel good again.

32:10.65
danaemercer
So would you say for you like style I've heard it described as armor right? like clothing can be armor. It's sort of what we put on and it makes us feel even more strong and even more powerful is that how you would describe.

32:27.20
Denise
Absolutely absolutely I feel that fashion has helped me with my with my insecurities and it's helped me become more confident because I feel that fashion is a way to to express yourself right.

32:28.13
danaemercer
Style.

32:44.34
danaemercer
E.

32:46.76
Denise
But that is how I express myself right when I'm feeling insecure I'm going to take the most sexiest dress that I can find right? and then I'm going to put it on and be like this dress is absolutely gorgeous and I look amazing and then I post it and people are like oh my God I Love the weight.

32:51.93
danaemercer
Specific.

33:06.12
Denise
Stress looks on you I'm gonna go buy it I'm like yes you go and buy it wear it because you're gonna look amazing.

33:07.88
danaemercer
Um, yeah, it's It's honestly I sometimes I do that I'm not such a great dresser I'm learning which is why 1 of the reasons I Love your page but I do that sometimes with like a little bit of makeup is if I'm having a bad day or I had some rough days Recently. And I I would be like okay I'm not leaving the house but I am putting on mascare and I'm putting on some with gloss and what it does for your mental health sometimes is really powerful.

33:34.73
Denise
It is. It is super powerful like you know because especially like during Covid right? We were always at home and and we couldn't go out and you know we were wearing sweats and stuff and I was like I don't care I'm still gonna make a video I was gonna make video and people were like.

33:41.24
danaemercer
Yeah.

33:48.71
danaemercer
Exactly and.

33:54.16
Denise
And I would post a video people are like Wow you're giving me so like so much inspiration and I can't I'm buying all of these clothes that you're wearing. But even though I have nowhere to wear them to I'm still gonna buy it I'm like yes, buy it. You know, do it dress dice walk around and and address do whatever you want to? do you know? and.

34:02.66
danaemercer
Specific. Ah.

34:10.31
Denise
That's the power of fashion right? You're able to express yourself. However, you want and that's where I found my my way of of you know days that I feel insecure or or not happy or whatever like this dress is absolutely stunning I'm going to wear it. And then I'm gonna make a video and inspire everyone else who's feeling down.

34:31.30
danaemercer
Yeah, well they do say they say I think there's like a stat that shows doing work for others is 1 of the most powerful ways that you can actually make yourself feel better and I get asked sometimes like they're by Journalists actually and they're like how do you you know how do you find the courage. Do what you do I'm like I am I'm not a very courageous person I would say I I'm just so lucky that I'm surrounded by millions of women that inspire me because you know they're in my inbox and they're like hek yes, a go girl like oh okay okay I'll keep going.

34:57.87
Denise
The bright.

35:05.37
Denise
Wagie exactly and not to mention all of the other creators you know in our community who inspire us right? because that's another thing people are like oh you know you're so inspiring I'm like yeah thank you but look at this girl and look at this girl and look at her and you know they inspire me. So.

35:11.47
danaemercer
Yeah.

35:21.14
danaemercer
Yeah, yeah.

35:23.15
Denise
Follow them. But they're gonna inspire you through and I and I think that's that that's why our community is so awesome because we're in a community where we can inspire and then get inspired at the same time.

35:33.12
danaemercer
Yeah, absolutely absolutely I I would love to hear your advice on say you know a woman maybe doesn't feel the most con in her body and she doesn't really know how to style herself. She doesn't know what what dress to put on what what tips do you have.

35:50.57
Denise
So The tips that I would have is to follow creators who inspire you and you know and if you're afraid to wear something I mean just buy it. You know, try it on and you know don't worry about what other people have to say and. You know it's all about when when I think about fashion I Think about how does it make you feel right? How do? How do you feel in it right? It was like even when I had when I would post bikini photos right? and people were like I could never wear a bikini.. It's like why? Not just why don't you just buy it. Buy it put it on. And just see how you feel in it because I think that the reason why people are like no I'm not going to put on that bikini because I don't want to go out in public because we're just so focused as to what other people are going to think right? It's happened to me before you know I'll put on a bikini and and then I start walking around and then in the back of my mind.

36:37.64
danaemercer
And.

36:47.40
Denise
Um, like I wonder if people are staring at me, you know, but what even if they are what what doesn't matter right? It's just you. It's just you and that bikini the beach right? What did you go to the beach for you went to the beach to go get some vitamin d and enjoy. Salt water. So go do it. You know, put on your bikini and and enjoy stop worrying too much about what other people think you want to try a new fashion. You want to try a new um fashion item that's in trend. Try it, try it because you just never know. And if it doesn't work out then whatever then just go on for the next 1 I've ward outfits where I'm like oh well this doesn't look good on me. Let me go on to the next 1 that's the that's the fun thing about fashion is that you're it's it's you know you're able to try and try and try and so you find something that that you love.

37:29.84
danaemercer
Yeah, yeah.

37:38.37
danaemercer
Absolutely I Love that. That's beautiful advice and I'm a big fan of the idea of just wearing the bikini or a lot of the girlswls in my community started to wear shorts because legs are concerned for so many women so it's just you know i' was just wearing wearing that thing like they.

37:51.87
Denise
Um, yeah.

37:57.69
danaemercer
It's so powerful when you finally do and often more comfortable. You know to let those legs out in the summer it's it's kind of nice.

38:00.76
Denise
Um, yeah, you know I always say it's like you know you get you get insecure to wear a bikini and at the beach. But what if you went to the beach and you just went to a beach that no 1 was there would you wear the bikini. And I feel like a lot of people would be like yeah actually I would if there was no 1 there I would wear it so it's like when you go to the beach when you go to the beach just pretend. You're the only 1 there. You know it's hard I know it's definitely easier said than done. But I think as you continue to train your mind and think that what other people think about you. Really doesn't matter because at the at the end of the day. It really doesn't matter. You're not going home with any of these people like this is just people who you see and and and you never know they're probably not even thinking about you and they're probably just thinking to herself if they do think about you. They're probably like wow she looks really good and at Bikini I should wear. It.

38:55.14
danaemercer
Um, well on that note I'm I'm aware of time Denise where can people find you online.

38:56.74
Denise
I should wear a beeking myself.

39:04.30
Denise
Um, so you can find me on tiktok instagram and my user name is denise mercedes and yeah, thank you so much for having me today I really appreciate it.

39:15.77
danaemercer
No thank you. That was a beautiful interview and you have inspired me I'm going to go creep through your profile now and find some new outfits that I want to go get so.

39:25.17
Denise
Yeah I love that. Thank you so much.

39:28.65
danaemercer
Well, and thank you everyone for tuning in make sure you click subscribe. We have a new episode up every week I'll speak to you soon? bye. Okay.